My misplaced faith in Georgetown caused my bracket to be hosed like a skunked dog….

…AND I picked Kentucky to win it all.  Ah, the ficklness of the single elimination format.  The bookies in Vegas will long sing the praises of the NAACA.  Words to live by for everyone else: “Delusions R Us.” 

The only saving grace was that no one in my office pool chose Duke as national champion.  We were all completely mystified @ the final four. I got to lord it over the Jayhawk-loving, Kansas backing contingent for exactly one week.

On a positive note, I was pleased to see Cornell (my step sis’ alma mater) make it past the opening round.  It was fun to see the Ivy league represented among all of the, ahem, less scholastically inclined intsitutions of higher education.

In the end, Cinderella skipped the ball, because her gown was too expensive and didn’t fit.  She’ll have to grow a few inches or save enough dough to hire a better tailor.

Had Butler won, or better yet, St. Mary’s, this might have been the craziest March of all.

I think we need to go whole hog and ban the use of food in restaurants. Instead, we would be served a virtual feast — on our personal tabletop computer screens. Less overhead, no waitstaff, less caloric. Win-Win.

BTW, only a former anorexic could think of this solution.

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/03/11/2010-03-11_assault_on_salt_an_insult_chefs.html

In honor of “Awards Season,” I’m rolling out my own red carpet to hand out the very first “HaFWit” Awards.

The HaFWits celebrate the infamous, the nefarious, and the inept alike – with kudos to the absurd, the obvious, and the just plain dumb.

In the spirit of giving credit where none is due…(get your snark meters ready)

The Winner of the “Let Them Eat Cake” HaFWit Award is:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/is-it-okay-to-talk-about-your-daughters-weight-if-it-s-for-the-national-good-579635/

The “Because we don’t have ENOUGH white trash on TV” HaFWit Award is shared by MTV’s Jersey Shore and this writer, who suggests a show based on New England’s ubiquitous “Massholes.”

http://www.slate.com/id/2242202/

As a displaced native NYer, now living in suburban LA LA Land, I admit that nothing grates more than FAKE smiley and perkiness (which is a frequent MO here, often among people new to the Industry).  When NYers exhibit smiley and perky behaviour, there is generally a legitimate reason, such as:

1. They are trying to sell you something 
2. They are on drugs
3. They hit the lotto (hey, you never know)
4. The mayor is actually someone they can tolerate for a few years
5. They’ve had the perfect Espresso Ice from La Lanterna Di Vittoria and now will not be able to sleep for four nights (but won’t care)
6. They’ve published their first poem in the New Yorker
7. It’s opening night on Broadway and they’ve scored seats in the middle orchestra for under $400
8. The Knicks actually won a game
9. They found a parking space right in front of their building, and due to alternate side-of-the-street parking, will not have to move the car for 2 days
   But the most important reason a NYer will smile and perk at you is:
10. They really, really, like you!

Groucho Marx is one of my idols, but we differ in one respect.  I DO want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.    In fact, I’d prefer to be a charter member — or at least one that is welcomed with open arms.    Hell, I ONLY want to belong to a club that recruits me.

I’ve never understood the need to go where I’m not wanted.  This is a world of boundless opportunities.

There once was a broker named Madoff

Who said “Stimulus This” to a trade off

He made off with millions

While the Feds doled out billions

To bosses whose workers were laid off